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; Beyond the barricade ;
is there a world you long to see?
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26th-Nov-2012 12:42 am(no subject)
Enjolras 1
Last paper for this sem tomorrow.
How time flies, really.
Isn't that a mercy heh. ;D
10th-Sep-2012 07:55 pm(no subject)
Enjolras 1
Not much to update.

School's back to its usual hectic pace, am hating German class this semester for some reason (probably because I can't understand a lot of it and for some reason I feel like I can't speak properly and evidently my oral fluency is probably one of the worst in the class, even if I'm... alright with written stuff I guess), been playing a bit of GW2 but not really into it as much as I am with AION. I mean the graphics are cool and all but so far the gameplay feels more spammy-same-button than AION, y'know?

Anyway.

Yeah that's about all the updates I have. I'm starting to think of thesis topics and have a consultation with one of my professors on Wednesday. I hope it goes ok, I've never actually had an individual proper consultation with a prof before, unless you count that time when I had problems with a syntax tutorial and spontaneously knocked on Sato's door to ask him about it.

(Speaking of Sato - well a different Sato but still - there's the Kenshin movie that's just come out in Japan this year, starring Sato Takeru whom I saw in Princess Princess D, LOL. Out of the pink frilly dress and into a cool red and white... whatever that robe is called. Heh. Don't know when it'll come out but I'll make everyone go to see it with me or something.)

Anyway.

Sometimes I have a feeling I don't post here much anymore cause a slightly spiteful part of me doesn't want to share my life with... well, some people. Ok maybe not spite. But I'm just... being cautious I suppose. Trying to.

...I actually Tumblr a lot more than I LJ now. ...I really should update my tumblr theme, come to think of it. After I read these readings (am taking two Mie modules this sem and those compulsory readings and weekly quizzes really get to you, I don't know how Randy managed on just reading the readings briefly before class every week) that is.
25th-Aug-2012 01:29 pm - dysfunctional
Enjolras 1
I'm kind of tired of all the screaming and yelling and loud crying that goes on in the house whenever my mother and my elder brother have yet another row about his weight/job/health blah blah issues. I don't even know why I'm talking about this but it seems to be a rather frequent occurrence in the house and I just... I don't know. I don't want to think that we might be a dysfunctional family but sometimes it feels like we ARE.

I mean, really, it is HIS life, and if he is happy with his current situation in life (he says he isn't, I can understand why, but I don't know if his lack of happiness is also partly due to nagging) - I mean. I don't know. My mother dabbles entirely too much into his life, to the point that his job issues affect her so much, and when she gets into his weight and health issues... He's not even that fat, y'know. I mean. Ok fine perhaps he really does have quite a sizeable paunch. But I don't know. Is it really worth all the yelling and screaming and the self-pitying tears of "what is wrong with you look at your weight we try to tell you what is good for you" etc etc?

Sigh maybe we really are dysfunctional.
18th-Jul-2012 10:43 am - quickly
Enjolras 1
Not much to update, but yes I'm alive. Been playing a lot of AION - am max level already and going for PVP gear and stuff, just to protect myself in the PVP places and whatever. Will post screenies of my uber-pretty ranger soon enough ;D I don't usually play females in games actually, but I guess I'm stuck with this, and it's actually kinda cool making her look awesome 8D
8th-Jun-2012 07:03 pm - the children conundrums
Enjolras 2
Spent the last 4 days helping out at a kid's camp my church organized - well really each day's programme only ran from morning to about early afternoon-ish, because they ARE kindergarten or early-primary age and I don't think their attention spans could be that good in the first place - but anyway. I had 6 kids under my charge, from about nursery to K2 level. It went mostly alright, I suppose, but there were a couple of things that really got my goat. Ok maybe just one thing, but still.

I cannot STAND children who are SO FUSSY about FOOD.

Seriously.

There was this one boy in my group (with a rather unlovable mien too if I might add) who proved to be utterly and incorrigibly FUSSY about eating. The first day they served cereal and cookie bits, accompanied with Milo, and he only drank the Milo because he didn't want the cereal and cookie. So, y'know, ok. I mean, the cookie bits DID look kind of suspect.

Day two, they serve heart-shaped biscuits with sprinkles and Ribena. He refuses both at first, tries a biscuit and then stops because he "doesn't like the sprinkles". And then he doesn't want to drink the Ribena! ....WHICH kid out there hates Ribena, seriously?! Isn't it one of those foods that kids generally love? So they had to make Milo for him! And mind you, not COLD MILO! Has to be HOT!

Yesterday it was assorted sandwiches, y'know like cheese or egg mayo or ham, the very foolproof fail-safe kind, and again he turned up his nose at it. Drank just Milo again and refused to touch the bread because he "doesn't like white bread". ...At this point I was less on the coaxing side and more on the eyerolling side.

Today, needless to say, he refused to eat the soft buns they had prepared, and I think by this point his mother had probably heard about his eating habits from the head teacher, because she sent him along with a box of... guess what, Milo cereal.

...Pickiest kid I've ever encountered, man. I'd be glad if I don't ever see him again. If my kids, in the future (IF EVER, SINCE I SWEAR MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK JUST STOPPED O.O), ever show such fussy eating habits, I'mma just let them go hungry for a meal or two. Spoilt brat, honestly.

Other than that, it was mostly ok I guess. The toddlers in my Sunday school class are going to seem SO angelic after this. <3 It's brilliant.
25th-Apr-2012 02:11 pm - Unsicherheit.
Enjolras 2
The irony of being an absolute Hermione Granger in the weeks leading up to your exam papers is that you probably WILL fall sick a couple of days before the first one. I've 48 hours (approximately) to get well, and I WILL get well by Friday 9am, so help me. Urgh. Guess I'll have to learn how to study at home - it's actually very peaceful and quiet, it's just that I'm not used to it, and the temptations of the technological world are, to say the least... strong. I'm fairly sure that going to school in my current state of physical weakness will be just about suicidal.

It's an interesting situation, watching seniors talk about where they're going to work, or where they're going for further studies - I suspect the further studies bit occurs more in this faculty rather than in anywhere else - and realising also that at this time next year, it will be my turn. And although I know what I want to go into, there's always that part of me that feels so doubtful about it - can I actually manage to make the cut? - and as a result I daren't even say out loud, here, in writing, what I'm aiming to do. Like if I say it, I'll be jinxing myself or something idiotic like that.

The truth is - there are things in life that I recognize have always come easily for me; words flow easily from my mind, usually anyway, and my brain generally doesn't really let me down when I need to write an exam paper or learn a new concept. But there are other things which I just haven't been able to get under my belt, in which I haven't been able to attain proficiency. Doing well in interviews, for example, or generally any of those things that require me to perform verbally in front of people. I've been better at it recently - I've had a couple of presentations this semester, and if I say so myself, I did manage to project some semblance of confidence - but what matters, what will matter at this time next year... it'll be a different ball game altogether.

But now's not the time to be scared. Now's the time to draw upon that inner Enjolras that I'm sure every rational person who has something to believe in contains somewhere deep inside their soul. Now's the time to square my shoulders, now's the time to pick up that flag and journey into a new tomorrow, a new horizon, a new road stretching out in the expanse of the unknown. I may fail, I may be shot down (and goodness knows I'm sure he knew they had very little chance of success) - but be danged if I don't try. Cause if there's a path I want to see, a path I want to be mine... I have to believe that there's a flame that never dies. That perhaps I really can reach out my hand, and grasp onto the unknown, and follow it down the road to a brilliant, blazing future.
30th-Mar-2012 09:03 pm - Ruhe, vor dem Sturm
Enjolras 3
The next week's just going to be something awful, so many papers and projects and presentations to do. I know it's coming, I know that this one Friday night is going to be... well, the lull before the storm. Tomorrow the real work must start, and I know I have to hurry up and find a good website to analyse for Lexi class, because frankly I'm not really sure what to do, and it doesn't help that I haven't been able to understand half the readings. Sigh! I must get to work tomorrow - I will organize all the readings from that class and get the powerpoints downloaded and perhaps print them in school soon. The final is open-book after all so I think having them would be, at the very least, psychological comfort.

Things to do (in no particular order because I'm really too tired to arrange them in any semblance of organization blah blah):
1. Print Lexi readings/powerpoints
2. Finish up my History of Science notes
3. Lang and media written analysis
4. Park's individual paper - go through the comments JR left and fix them
5. Park's group paper
6. Lexi group presentation
7. Lexi individual presentation
8. Study for German semester test

...Oh, help me.

Work begins now.
24th-Mar-2012 09:45 am - glauben.
Enjolras 2
I really want to believe.

I just don't know what exists in it, to actually believe in.
13th-Mar-2012 03:19 pm - lächeln.
Enjolras 4
It's a really foreign feeling, for me, to actually have people plan a birthday celebration for me - not least because I guess I never was in a clique close enough to do that in the past, and I guess I just never had that sort of tradition between me and my closer friends all the way up til now.

But to actually have that now, to actually have friends who care about me that much to do something for me - I wouldn't trade this for the world. Not only that, of course - to have friends who stick with me when I'm down, who do their best to always bring out the happy best in me, who sit with me in the middle of IKEA as the rain pours down outside... I only hope that I can do the same for them, if ever they should need it (though I certainly hope not!), that I can be as influential to their lives as they have been to mine. I don't know if I can, but you know, one can only ever hope to try.

Had a wonderful Saturday, with my FIRST EVER PROFESSIONAL MANICURE (wow! At the ripe ol' age of 22! You'd think that I'd have had it sooner but anyway) and a karaoke session, not to mention a wonderful dinner at night with many of the friends who have made my life in university so enjoyable. Really felt like a pampered princess, haha. But more importantly I cherish all the good wishes and the lovely notes - it's funny how simple words and photos can be so valuable, so worthy of being treasured. (I realize I'm not being as eloquent as I usually am, though this may be attributed to the fact that I've never really had to write about such a situation before.)

So thank you so much guys, for making my 22nd birthday so happy, so special, and for just being there. This is one birthday that I won't ever forget. Perhaps, I daresay, it's even better than my 21st. Haha.



P.S. Been mildly addicted to this song from Next to Normal - a broadway play. Aaron Tveit sings SO well - I can't wait to see him as Enjolras in the Les Mis movie coming out at the end of this year!

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